palindrome | Tidus PSL

At the end of her second week as a freshman in high school, the last person Hannah expects to find waiting by her locker is Tidus. They are cousins, so it's not as out of place as it could be for him to seek her out but, well... she's kind of been trying to avoid him. She could play it off as finding Tidus and the rest of the senior boys intimidating, but really it's those four years when she lived on the other side of the country that really intimidate her. When she left, Tidus was just starting high school himself, a charming, boyish friend from Hannah's childhood, and now... Now he's grown a whole head taller than her, and his boyish good looks have become something more adult.

So seeing him standing by her locker makes Hannah's heart skip a beat, and when he asks to talk with her, she can only nod meekly and follow him into a darkened classroom, too afraid of the blush coloring her cheeks to raise her face.

She shuts the classroom door and stands there, worrying the hem of her skirt with her fingers.

"What do you want to talk about?"

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Like Tidus had grown and become more handsome, Hannah had grown and become far more beautiful than she had been before. Tidus himself always had a bit of a thing for her and even when she left, that hadn’t really changed things. Now that she was back, it felt like it had become even stronger. Factor in how beautiful she has become, how her curves had filled out over the year..it was nearly impossible to not practically fall for her the moment he set eyes on her again.

That’s why when he heard she started dating some guy, his heart sank. It wasn’t like he had any claim over her, she’s his cousin after all. So why should he have a problem with it? No matter how much he tried to think it over or force himself to be okay with it, it just wouldn’t work. So he came to her today to grab her so they could chat.

“We haven’t talked much since you’ve been back.” Which was definitely weird because they’d been inseparable just a few years ago. “I heard that you have a boyfriend now?”

"Oh.." The one thing Hannah doesn't want to talk about. "I guess so."

That boyfriend is Claude, a sophomore who wasted no time in laying a claim to Hannah at the start of the school year. He is the polar opposite of Tidus in many ways - stern and humorless compared to Tidus's friendly cheer - but he knew what he wanted, and told Hannah she should go out with him right when she was losing a battle with her own attraction to her cousin. So it had happened. They were a quiet, studious, attractive couple, so of course the student body was already talking about how perfect they looked together. Looked being the operative word here. Hannah doesn't dislike Claude, but he's nothing like Tidus's warmth and playfulness. Still, this is for the best.

"It just kind of happened."

“I don’t know if a relationship can just ‘kind of happen.’” He says as he crossed his arms over his chest. Tidus had so many feelings about it and he wasn’t quite sure how to really express all of them. Claude wasn’t someone that was worthy of his cousin. Yeah, some girls might be into him. But he thought his cousin would have better tastes than that.

“Did I do something to you that I’ve forgotten about? Because you haven’t..once tried to hangout with me or anything. Even when we see each other in the hall, you don’t stop and chat.” He says hey to her and she might greet him, but she also keeps on her way.

“We used to be so close, Hannah.” Maybe a bit too close. “So..did I do something to make you hate me?”

"Of course not," Hannah replies readily. She still can't bring herself to look at Tidus, because not only would seeing his expression while he asks these things of her break her heart, but she knows she wouldn't be able to resist flying into his arms.

"It's complicated, Tidus. It's not... it's my fault, not yours, okay? I just think it would be better if we spent some time apart."

Tidus steps closer to her and brings his hand to rest on her cheek. He turns her head a bit so she can look him directly in the face.

“Hannah..” He says gazing into her eyes. “Just tell me why. I was so excited when I heard you were coming back. I thought I would get my best friend again.” Though that’s not entirely all.

“I mean..I know you’ve become incredibly beautiful while you were away. So of course guys would want to spend time with you. But..didn’t you miss me as much as I missed you?”

She lets him guide her face up. As much as she wants to put up a cold front to him, this is what she wants more than anything: Tidus touching her gently, speaking to her with concern and love, easing all of her fears and worries.

"I missed you more than you know," she says, her resolve starting to crumble. "But you're a senior, you should be focused on college and your friends and- and senior girls. I don't want to hold you back."

Tidus never hid how much she meant to him in the past. It shouldn’t come as a surprise when she distances herself from him, he’s going to be worried. He’s going to want to know why.

“You..you have never held me back. No matter where I go or what people come into my life, you’re always going to be important to me.” He says earnestly. He’s slowly starting to realize just how deep his feelings for her run.

“I want you in my life, no matter what. And…and I want Claude out of yours.” Like he had any power to tell her who she should date. “He’s not good enough for you. He doesn’t deserve to have you in his life. There are better guys for you.”

"But I can't have the better guy I want!" Hannah exclaims, tears filling her eyes. "I can't have him,and if he knew I wanted him, he'd hate me, and then I'd lose him completely!"

Tidus honestly didn't know what guy she was talking about. And he'd like to think that whoever it was was better than the guy she was currently dating. But he couldn't imagine any guy that she picked would meet his approval.

"And what guy do you want?"

"You, Tidus," she replies, her voice quivering with restrained tears. "I've only ever wanted you."

She takes a step back, trying to disengage physically from him. Now that he knows he probably won't want to touch her, and even though the thought breaks her heart, she knows now that she would never have been able to keep this from him. Maybe it's better that it's out and over with sooner rather than later.

Tidus PSL

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